Travelling for Idiots

I have always fantasized about writing books. I have begun several (a mystery, a humourous book, a children's book, a self-help book) and none of them are finished.
Here is one, though., that I can and should write since I have become the expert-- Travelling for Idiots. (can you smell the expertise?)
All but three weeks of last year was I travelling and, again, most of this year (so far) I have travelled each week. So you would think I would have it down to an art? Not so much, no.
Here are some tidbits:
1. I still forget something each trip, typically my hairbrush
2. I take work out clothes each trip, and do not work out (too much Everybody Loves Raymond on)
3. I get insomnia each trip, but I take no pills or other aids with me
4. I arrive for every flight way too early and am bored and sleepy when my flight is finally called
5. I have 3 bags and I cannot decide which is my favorite
6. I pick the line at security behind a momma and three children in strollers travelling alone and Bubba the boot wearing, hat bearing, dude that has to undress every part of his body before going through and THEN he remembers the large metal belt buckle that is bigger than his head!
7. I forget my earbud or my cell phone and set the alarm off myself after everyone laughs at Bubba
8. I get lost in Houston going to every client I have had there
9. I call David to save me from my lost self every time...he is still speaking to me in spite of it
10. I have (more than once) walked out of my hotel and hit the "open door" button on my rental car key fob to locate my car because I could not remember which car I have rented this week.

AND...
this week I walked out of my hotel, performed the "locate your rental" actions described in #10 and yup.... It was my own car. I worked locally this week.